


Unwanted on Gallifrey

by asparagusmama



Series: The ragbag collection of stories of the Doctor and the Master's children [4]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Academy, Angst, Kid Fic, Nonbinary Character, Trans Female Character, Trans child, Will add relationship and character and other tags as new chapters posted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23738887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asparagusmama/pseuds/asparagusmama
Summary: What do you do when you're a small Time Tot and one father is arrested while the other steals a TARDIS and runs away with your older niece? Who takes care of you?How does it feel to grow up knowing that your Father has become a trickster god, someone who fights evil and injustice and leaves worship and chaos both in his wake whilst your Papa has become a god of war, of death, who leaves nothing but destruction and death in his wake?When Time claims your Father for her Champion and Death takes Papa for hers, how is life at the Academy? Are you safe? Does anyone trust you? Could you write the book on loneliness before you ever begin there?This is the story of the Doctor and the Master's youngest child, left behind...Part Two: Sanjiandrovanri returns home to to Gallifrey after her time through the Chameleon Arch as a young human and then living with her Father at UNIT HQ and has to grow up without family, House, or rank in a static society where status and caste is all.
Relationships: The Doctor | Theta Sigma/The Master | Koschei (Doctor Who: Academy Era), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)
Series: The ragbag collection of stories of the Doctor and the Master's children [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1006917
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Arrival

It was the three day holiday of Otherstide when they arrived, Sanjiandrovanri could tell by the fluttering bunting in the TT Capsule arrival bays and the coloured stickers on the passageways. She looked out of the scanner with a sigh, and picked up her bag. Teddy and Doggie would be pleased to be home, she hoped, but what would Tatty Bear, Bunny, and Dolly make of the new planet? Poor Dolly had already had one culture shock, England was different enough from India to be a struggle for one poor little rag doll. She wanted to go home, although what she meant by home, she did not know, but she felt a longing and a yearning that hurt her tummy and head and made her hearts feel like leaden stones in her chest, breathing hurt. All she could see was grey and pink, despite the jolly bunting, and felt empty. She knew it was just a TT Capsule materialisation bay, and not Gallifrey, but it still felt alien. She wanted her space under her lab bench with her train set, or curled up with an Earth children’s book in the little truckle bed at the end of Father’s in his room in the TARDIS. She wanted to sit by Carol Bell while she tracked the skies of Britain, or sit in the guardroom with Alan, Gary, and Steve, learning to play poker and eating the cakes that Alan’s Mum baked and sent in the post. She wanted to be taken to tea by Uncle Alistair, his warm brown eyes smiling over his stern, bristling, moustache.

Or did she want to be human? If Papa had not come to the vast TV mast by the Jones’ house, she would never have been dangerously curious, and she would never leaked out into Cassandra Jones at all, and Papa would not have made her open that horrible watch! Yes, with Cassandra’s Granddad life had not been perfect as a human child, but she had had nine years with a Mummy and Daddy, and Aunts and Uncles, to say nothing of a little brother and a pet dog, all who loved her. Or loved Cassandra, at least. In seven years on Gallifrey she had never had that.

So, she had been seven, and now she was nine, was she? Or eight? If Uncle Braxiatel had not put her through the Chameleon Arch she would never have left, and would be – what 250? 300? How far forward was she? Time Travel was forbidden in the Transduction Barrier, and of course, the wrong incarnation of both fathers and uncle has responded to her on Earth, and the High Council refused to let her back in her own time stream. Everyone she knew was now an adult. Maybe that was not so bad, her Father had grown increasingly odd, muttering and talking to himself and tripping over words, that the other Tots laughed at him behind his back, some even repeated words from their parents, like corrupted DNA, and not really graduated, and not very bright, but what can you expect?

With both parents exiled for centuries, and her Papa even erased from the Records and the Matrix, perhaps it would be a fresh start?

She felt sick. Sanjiandrovanri and Cassandra both liked school and teachers, just both didn’t get on with other children.

She tipped up her head, and heard Father in her mind say, ‘You own the place, act like you own the place, always works for me!’

The time rotor stopped with a terribly final ping, and,

“Well. Here we are. Must dash. Have your bag, dear niece? Good good,” and with that, Uncle Braxiatel kissed his fingertips, and then pressed them to the tip of Sanji’s nose, and ushered them hurriedly out of the door, slamming the capsule's doors behind them. She and the Coordinator had barely made two steps away when the sound of dematerialisation started.

Coordinator Aris sighed with irritation. “Wouldn't surprise me if your uncle was involved with the CIA, the way he pops here and there, in and out of the transduction barrier without a by your leave,” he said, unguardedly.

“I wouldn’t know, Coordinator.”

“Aris, my dear, we have known each other a long while, well, a long while for a Tot like you. Might I carry your bag?”

Sanjiandrovanri shook her head forcefully, before picking it up and putting it on her back.

“What an ingenious design. Still, I suppose humans are an inventive, productive species, not taking very long from standing upright and banging rocks together to covering five galaxies with their rather prolific offspring! I mean no disrespect, my dear,” he added, patting her on her shoulder.

It took the little girl a moment, she usually forgot she was technically one quarter human, although she felt any human DNA had been extracted by her loom. Her sisters usually said so, if the subject arose. It was a long time since they had all sat together. Beyond memory, almost, the Otherstide before Father threw Papa out of their apartments – before Papa had hit her! Hypatia was full of Susan’s first day at the Academy, after the holiday – or Larn Arkytior as Hypatia had called her daughter until Susan chose a new name, as some did when attended the Academy. 

Apart from shortening her name to Sanji or Sanji-Anna, Sanjiandrovanri had no idea how she would change her name. They had all made the effort to use Susan the following Otherstide, although both her sisters had not liked it, nor Papa, and Father was hurt by it. Susan said she was embracing her ancestry, and Father had hugged her rather a lot and muttered and mumbled about bullies and bullying and cruel idiots! Portia had hugged little Damon and whispered fiercely how he would never choose to change his name.

Papa had laughed his nastiest laugh and pointed out her sisters’ names were the same as Susan’s just because they waited almost a century until they graduated, it made no difference.

“Well, my name goes with my career, it has dignity and education and culture in its choice, Susan is an Earth Sheboygan name,” Hypatia had replied, or rather screamed in Papa’s face.

Susan had stormed off, and Father stood up and threw a dish of marinated fish tongues at Papa and screamed at him to get out. Portia had not even come for the meal, merely popped by with presents, before she had gone to her husband’s family for the day. Hypatia and Susan had only supposed to pop in too, but Father forced them at least to stay for food, as Hypatia’s husband had been off world. She had sat under the table with her hands over her ears until her nurse found her, and lost her temper, and had been sacked on the spot! The housebot tried to clean up all the dishes Father had thrown, and he yelled at it to drown itself. It had very literal, simplistic, programming, so the poor thing did just that.

That had been her last Otherstide in her family home, it ended with Father and her and a huge mess, everyone else left. She never saw Hypatia until That Day, the day Papa had been arrested and Father stole Susan and a TARDIS and no one had seemed to know what to do with her. It had only been a matter of a few more weeks into Other Term before That Day!

Ushas had no time for simplistic rituals and festivities ‘designed to appease the Technical and Service classes’, and she had no idea ‘why Time Lords must insist on such a Plebeian activity’. For Uncle Brax, it meant reading books about the Mysteries of the Other, and discussions on whether The Other was really an aid to Rassilon, like Omega, or in fact, his enemy, and ‘You are fond of myth and legend, dear girl, do you think he threw himself into the First Great Loom, and if so, what does that mean for us on a metaphorical level?’

Sanji hadn’t known or cared, she had wanted new shiny, glittery robes, presents, cakes and sweets and fruits, and a huge meal, like all the other Time Tots at Kindergarten.

“You must have family, Lord Aris?” she asked, politely, as they walked the bridge from the TT Capsule main park across to the main tower of the Capitol. Before them were many miles of the city structures, the sky filtered through the dome into an iridescent pink this close to the top of it. She looked down the glass floor and felt sick. Cassandra had no fear of heights, climbing trees, but Sanjiandrovanri was not as brave as her human avatar, that she knew.

“I have my husband and mothers in our country house. They will save some of the feast and treats for me, do not worry. Now, hopefully your sisters will have done the same for you.”

“I am to go to Hypatia or Portia? I thought you said…?”

“Surely they will take you for the holiday, the Academy will not open until after the Third Day.”

Aris had been a Kindergarten teacher, then Principle, and now Young Children’s Coordinator for many centuries, millennia even, but he crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping the small girl would not notice.

*

The transduction station in Arcadia was almost empty, but a friendly autokart beeped politely, and they instructed it with Hypatia’s address and rode the near empty streets, the buildings lit with Otherstide lights and gay with colourful bunting.

The Great Seal Mystery of the Other, along with the Seal of Rassilon, hung above the door of Hypatia’s new house. Aris smoothed down his hair and fiddled with his collar in what seemed rather like a nervous gesture, before he lifted the ornate, large, doorbell cord of plaited copper and silver.

“Who is it?” an invisible intercom asked, with a male voice.

Did she have a brother?

“Aris, the Children’s Coordinator of the Capitol. I have the Lady Sanjiandrovanri in need of a home for three days of Otherstide, before the First Term begins.”

“Hold.”

“Well, that was not very polite,” Aris said unguardedly, smiling down at the little girl, frowning with worry.

They waited for quite a while, long enough for Sanji to remember the letter from her Father written in pictographic and algebraic Gallifreyan in his neat handwriting.

Eventually the door opened, and Hypatia stood there, still wearing her loom body, although it was wearing a little thin, as she was rather wrinkled, and her black hair was now snow white.

“I’m afraid I made it plain to the previous Coordinator some centuries previous, there is no room for her here.”

“My Lady, what do you suggest I do with her?”

“I’m afraid that is your problem,” and she made to slam the door. Aris caught it with his foot, preventing its closure.

“She is your family.”

“She is no family of mine. I belong to the House of White Blossom. I understand she has no House.”

“My Lady...” Aris began again, taken aback.

“Please remove your foot, or I will ask the House to call the Arcadian Guard.”

“My Lady Hypatia,” Sanjiandrovanri began softly. “I bear a letter for you,” she continued as her sister ignored her.

“I believe it to be from the Doctor,” added Aris.

“We do not mention that one here, please. In fact, I believe he does not exist anymore.”

 _What did Father do to hurt you?_ wondered Sanji, wanting to cry. She surely had had a much worst time from their fathers? “It is about Susan,” she said, holding it up.

Hypatia snatched it, then stamped on Aris’ foot and slammed the door.

“Sometimes, you can tell exactly who her parents are,” Aris sighed.

Were Father and Papa rude?

Well, Father was, his rudeness sometimes hurt Uncle Alistair deeply, although he hid it inside him, as was the Earth human male custom regarding feelings. And Father had been horrible to her nurses and the housebots. Put Papa was always charming, even if it was only to manipulate beings into doing his will. Perhaps Coordinator Koschei had been rude? She was too young to remember.

  
*

  
It was night on the other side of the planet, as they transducted into Prydonia. A young Technician was waiting for them with a note. He did not look happy at being called away from his family and one of the few days free from duties people of his caste had.

It was, of course, from the Lady Portia of the House of Green Roofs, denying she had any duty to the child of No House, of expunged parents.

“They have illustrious positions and husbands and adopted Houses to protect, my dear. Please don’t hate them,” Aris said, patting her shoulder gently.

Sanjiandrovanri had expected nothing but this, and it had not crossed her mind to hate them. Did you not have to know someone to hate them? They were mere concepts, concepts which did not disappoint.

“What will happen now?” she asked, hugging herself. “Can I go to the Academy now?” She assumed she would still, at least, be in the Prydonian Chapter and the Children’s Halls would be here, somewhere in this city.

 _I don’t know_ , Aris thought rather too loudly and unguardedly. This incarnation was more open and approachable that the one she had known at Kindergarten.

He put on a rather fake smile, beaming too widely, “Well, my dear, I think you shall come home with me for today, and we shall partake in the seasonal feast, and I will contact the First Year Bursar at the Prydonian college and see if you can go a couple of days early.” He raised his gloved hand to speak into his Disc of Connection.

  
*  


Aris’s Mother had just had her Eight regeneration, and looked like a rather glamorous human 20 something, in a shimmering tunic and matching trousers with a huge chunky pendant bearing the Mysterious Seal, where his Mama, although younger than her spouse, looked much older, at a human ideal of 60. She wore a loose robe of flowery, flowing silk and had her short hair covered with a cap. They welcomed her with kindness, immediately offering her sweets and a drink. Aris’ husband she did not immediately meet, he was in the kitchen with the housebot, preparing the Meal. 

The two Ladies took her into the Room for Living, and she curled up on a soft couch and fell asleep, hand still clutching the sweets, backpack still on her back. It had been a long day for her, she was time-lagged, it had been bedtime when they had arrived on Earth to take her away home, and she had been crossing the planet since she had arrived. She was exhausted, emotional and mentally, as well as physically.

She slept a long while.


	2. Academy

  
In was morning when Aris awoke Sanjiandrovanri with some sweet tea and left over Otherstide treats.

“Take your time, my dear. Can you manage to bathe alone, the guest bathroom is through the door.”

A door was opposite the large double bed she had awoken on. She did not remember falling asleep, and felt befuddled and heavy. The air hurt her lungs, it was somehow too clean and sterile compared to the polluted air of Earth she had become used to. It was silent too, just a background hum of the House’s power – no sounds of people, radios, birdsong, all the things she would hear in her Father’s lab, and the House hum had a very different quality to her Father’s TARDIS, and he was always doing something when they were in the TARDIS, things that involved his out of tune singing or explosions and swearing. Everything was so calm on Gallifrey.

Once fed, some of the treats stowed in her bag for emergencies, bathed and wearing clean knickers and socks, still dressed in her bridesmaid dress for her Father’s friend, Jo, and her spouse’s, wedding, she found her way to the Room for Lounging, where Aris was curled up on a low sofa, his head in his husband’s lap, listening to him read a story of the Other. Aris’ mothers were curled up together on the other sofa. Everything looked so calm, peaceful, relaxed, and full of love. She hovered, uncertain, in the doorway, not knowing what to do or say, clutching her bag full of all she owned in the universe very tightly. All she owned apart from the trainset in her Father’s lab, and all and her books and clothes in his TARDIS. But she supposed they were lost to her, as all her forgotten belongings from her family home had been left and never fetched after her Father had run away. She couldn’t remember them anyway; she had been so tiny. She had had some premonition that morning, she supposed, because Papa had been on the news service, having been arrested, that day. Because of that feeling, she had packed her favourite soft toys and books to go to nursery. Now she had three more toys and several books, and always carried spare underwear and food. Who knew where she would be moved to next?

She had forgotten how everyone must also close their minds behind a wall if wishing not to share feelings, it was so long since she’d been with her own people, apart from her Father, who was rather psi null really, or self-absorbed and so didn’t notice, or both. At least, Uncle Braxiatel said the one, Papa and Ushas said the other, and as she had had this chance to spend time with him, had wondered if it was not an either/or, but rather, both. He didn’t notice the quiet backdown telepathic buzz as his mind was racing on other things. He was different. Destroyer of Worlds, the Rey'ahxzi had called him. Sanjiandrovanri has assumed they had meant her other father, the Master. It was a title which fitted him better, she has sadly supposed.

“Ah, there you are my dear,” Aris said, sitting up. “Give me a moment to fetch my outer gown and cap, and we will be off. If you are ready to go? A Professor has kindly agreed to come back and open up early. I believe he will make it quite cosy for you until term starts.”

“It was lovely to meet you,” one of Aris’s mothers said, giving her a small, shiny wrapped, parcel and a bag of sweet treats. “Felicitous wishes of the season dear.”

“Thank you,” Sanji replied shyly, curtsying politely. She put them in the top of her bag while she waited for Aris. He joined her in his Coordinator robes and cap, but no collar, but a brightly coloured scarf instead, and they sent off.

“Shall we use the aircar, or are you happy walking to the transmat station?”

They were near the north pole, there was a sharp frost making the grass stand in pink points, and the bare silver trees stood stark next to the pale orange sky. She could now hear birds sing and trill, birdsongs she had forgotten, or perhaps never heard, living in the Capitol. Aris’ mothers were fruit farmers, the stark trees went on for miles in neat rows.

“I am very happy to walk,” she said, taking his hand and skipping beside him. It was, after all, her last day as a Tot, she might as well enjoy it.

“I’m glad you’re happy, my mothers’ and husband’s farm is very beautiful, I only get to come home every tenday apart from holidays.”

“You are very good to the Capitol children, Coordinator,” she said politely, as his lonely days at work needed to be praised, she felt. She knew all about loneliness.

They walked for almost an hour, the transmat on a raised platform that needed a lift to get to. There was no logic in this, but the view, stretching over the neatly lined orchards and red meadows to the dust bowl many kilometres in the distance, the huge golden dome and towers of the Capitol rising and shimmering on the far horizon, the orange sky stark behind it, was a view worth seeing.

To the other side of the raised station was a collection of smaller houses and outbuildings and storage units. She looked down, seeing Otherside lights twinkle over the otherwise bare grey buildings.

“Our farmers and technicians’ homes,” Aris said.

“Of course,” Sanjiandrovanri said, wondering why she said it so dismissively, like that. But she sensed from Aris it was the correct response from a Time Lady, polite and distance to the lower orders. She hated herself, and felt she had let down Cassandra’s Mum and Daddy more than Sanjiandrovanri s Father. When would she stop feeling split in half, like she had lived two separate parallel lives, like she was two people in one body?

“It’s beautiful here, but then, Prydonia has its own beauty too,” Aris said, setting the transmat controls for an automatic delay setting, the technician not at their station due to the festival.”

“Yes,” Sanji agreed, taking a deep breath of frosty clean air, so bracing and sharp.

  
*

  
They took an air car from the transmat station to the Junior Academy, it stood high on one of the hills, the City of Prydonia being build in a bowl – whether natural or shaped by Gallifreyans of the Old Times, Sanjiandrovanri did not know, and was not sure if she could find out, as history, especially pre Time Lord history, was not something taught or encouraged, and for all his books, Uncle Braxiatel had about three on the Old Times before the Dark Times, and perhaps five or six on the Dark Times, yet endless ones on Rassilon, Omega, and the Other. She was perhaps going to research it for her final papers, but of course, that was decades away.

Was she here a year early or a year late, and of course, centuries late? It hurt her mind to try to comprehend. Even Aris had changed – he seemed basically the same, but much kinder and more patient in this regeneration.

Aris patted her shoulder gently. “You are home, and sufficient time has elapsed for your Papa to be forgotten and your Father a distant memory with a few. This is best, I think.”

“Sorry, was I transmitting? I keep forgetting. Humans aren’t telepathic. I mean no disrespect,” she added, worried in case he had heard her musings about him.

The driver banked the aircar and she got the first view of the Prydonian Junior Academy. It was golden and washed pink in the red sunlight, four crenelated towers at each corner, surrounded by walled gardens and cloisters. As they came closer, she saw that some of the gardens contained play parks with swings and roundabouts. She remembered naively asking her Father why they had no swings on Gallifrey and he had replied they had, and been uncomfortable. But he left when she was tiny, so perhaps Ushas and Uncle Braxiatel should be the ones uncomfortable.

The aircar came to a quiet and soft landing in front of huge, gated, ironclad doors, decorated in the Seals of the Three and of Prydonia, overlapping and making vast circular calligraphy in three dimensions. It looked too big to open.

Aris dialled something on his hand Disc on his glove and a small door, hidden at first glance, opened in the huge doors. They stepped through. Sanjiandrovanri was aware of the interspatial, interstitial, interdimensional, little tingle, as however big on the outside, the Junior Academy was much larger on the inside.

  
*

Coordinator Aris’s boots echoed as they walked along the huge hall, the wrought iron theme giving way to huge deep wooden panels and projected 3-dimensional computer imagining of past professors. The Great Seal of Prydonia hung above them in repetition. Ahead was an ornate staircase. It was overwhelming, and terrifying. Sanji slipped her hand into Aris’s and he squeezed it gently, and smiled down at her reassuringly.

“Everything will be well,” he whispered, as if he too, were overcome with the grandeur. He had after all spent centuries of his life preparing Time Tots to come here, in the chaotic but organised mess of play learning, bright colours, and storytelling, but had never had call to visit any of the Academy colleges, not having children of his own.

“Ah, there you are,” said a voice, as a small door opened to the side, under a portrait of a rather patrician Time Lady, who appeared to be looking down her nose at everyone and everything.

He wore purple robes with matching cap and boots, and a gold chain hug around his neck, but no collar.

“I am Lord Borusa, Chancellor of the Senior Academy. Thank you, Coordinator Aris, for bringing the young lady to us.” He nodded to Aris, before squatting down. “Hello, Lady Sanjiandrovanri, welcome. This all must be rather overwhelming and awe-inspiring. You’ll see the college properly in two days, when you enrol. I thought it rather silly to take you to your dorm and spend a rather lonely time, so have arranged a small room, we can call it your vacation home if you like it. As time goes on, you may decorate it as you wish, keep belongings there safe. Shall I take you there? Then perhaps we can have a light meal. And my dear, you may tell me anything you wish about your parents, I knew both of them as boys and young men. I don’t know what you have been told,” he glanced up at Aris a moment, before turning his attention back on the small girl, “but alone, with me, you can acknowledge them all you like.”

Aris squatted down too, to also be at her eyeline. “I must go, now. I want you to know I found your old records, and you matriculated from Kindergarten Alpha Plus. The President had degreed we must not acknowledge the Doctor, and the Master was expunged from the records centuries ago. Rather awkward, when one taught them, isn’t it, my Lord?”

“I for one, certainly cannot expunge from my memories certain pupils, and I would say Theta Sigma is at the very top of that list, and I am sure it is the same for you, Coordinator?”

“Indeed,” said Aris, “but with much fondness as well as exasperation.”

“I’m not like him!” Sanjiandrovanri announced firmly. “And I am definitely not like the Master! I promise to try not to speak of them, but what when the other children arrive, will they not want to know of my House, my Family? What do I say? Do I pretend to be from a lower caste on a scholarship?”

“Be mystical, pretend they are special, secret,” Aris suggested. He too, stood up again.

“As, in a way, they are,” Borusa said, standing up and rubbing his knees through his gown. “I am sure you will find a way, my Lady. Now, you must say your goodbyes to the Coordinator.”

Sanjiandrovanri turned and looked up at the tall, skinny Aris, and curtsied. “Thank you for looking after me, and please thank your mothers and husband for their welcome and gifts. I shall try to make Capitol Seven Kindergarten proud.”

“Oh, enough of this my dear,” said Aris, and scooped her up into a hug. “I know you will make us proud my dearest girl, both myself and the Lady Hoolie.” He kissed her cheek, booped her nose, put her down, then turned and walked quickly away. Sanji chased after him, and hugged his legs tightly, until Borusa pulled her from the Coordinator. He held her tightly, so Aris could leave. She burst into tears.

“There there my dear. Let it all out this once. But remember, young Time Ladies practice detachment and control. I am sure coordinator Aris would not want you to let him down, now, would he?” Borusa patted her back, until she pulled away, and wiped her eyes roughly with her hands, then tipped her head up.

“I am fine now, Lord Borusa. A light meal would be nice. And please, will I be allowed my toys in the dorm, or will they stay in my holiday room?”

“Come along then my dear,” Borusa said, walking fast back along the huge, imposing, corridor. She had to run to keep up. He pulled back a curtain and opened the door behind it to reveal a small staircase.

“This is for teaching and service staff alone; I hope you understand you must never use this in term time.”

“I will follow all the rules,” she promised earnestly, also transmitting loudly she would try her very best not to be like her parents, if will could choose over genes, she would succeed.

At the top of the stairs were several doors along a plain, white, corridor. Borusa opened the third door to reveal a small transmat booth.

“An open ended closed 2-way transmat,” he proclaimed proudly, “connecting both the colleges of Prydonia, only permitted by senior staff. You do not even know this exists in term time, child.”

“Of course, Lord Borusa.”

 _How meek and unlike Theta and Koschei_ , thought Borusa to himself, _but I do sense a hidden fire of rage deep down. Certainly, there is less obsession with propriety as there is in her sisters. She might do very well indeed._

He took hold of her hand and they stepped into the transmat booth.


	3. A New Home?

“Good morning my dear,” Borusa said, pulling back curtains to let in the pale pink-orange light of dawn.

Sanjiandrovanri struggled to sit up, stretching, yawning, and rubbing sleep from her eyes, dislodging several of her soft toys, the rag doll and rabbit falling out of bed. The Professor and college Chancellor stood at the window; a tray balanced on one ungloved hand. He was still in his nightgown and robe. He smiled.

“We must leave early, far too many people about to reveal my secret little transmat booth, and I must be back here to welcome the return of my own students. I have replicated a human breakfast delicacy; I do hope I have the correct balance.”

Sanji wriggled up in her bed and saw a plate of baked beans on toast. She hoped so too, as the wrong tasting tomato sauce might be awful. “It looks nice,” she said, wanting to say something. She had been surprised at how a nice a day she had had yesterday with the old, unmarried, Time Lord, millennia old with no family that he spoke of. He had allowed her to relax and read what she wanted, asked little, but listened when she told him about being Cassandra, and about her few weeks with her Father at UNIT, and about her Papa’s threat to her. About his climbing the tower, running from the soldiers, and getting her to open the watch. He had not interrupted, not made judgements one way or another, although she suspected he had strong feelings about children going through a Chameleon Arch or parents who held knives to daughters throats or parents who left children as hostages with unknown aliens. Instead, he offered some amusing anecdotes of her parents as children and young adults, as well as also, merely asking curious academic questions about Earth in the later twentieth century. He had never left Gallifrey, not even as a student. 

They had mostly stayed in his large study, lounging on the comfy sofas, reading or talking, or his listening to her with interest, patience, and kindness, and he had helped her feel settled and safe. He had made them three simple but delicious meals throughout the day, never being one to stand for Otherstide gluttony, nor being interested in simple nutrition pills or bars, as all living things were meant to eat, even the highly evolved had simple needs better met than ignored. Sanji thought this is probably what the Lady Hoolie always believed, too, but put it into Kindergarten language.

He had helped her choose a colour for the simple circular room he had given her in his quarters, grown especially for her the day before, she guessed. She chose buttercup yellow walls, as Cassandra had had in her bedroom in her small council house she had lived in with her parents, brother, and dog. She also chose white furniture, a chest, a desk, a bookcase and shelves, a bed with a bright yellow counterpane and pillows, a nightstand, a lamp. The bathroom she chose to be blue, with tiles showing fishes and seahorses and dolphins and turtles, from Earth. It had taken them quite some time. Borusa added a white wardrobe, and a large easy chair for the bedroom, and a shelve above the bath and one above the basin in the bathroom. On one sat a yellow rubber duck and a boat he had replicated from her memories and descriptions, on the other her toothbrush and paste, and a pretty pink soap dispenser.

Now, draped over the easy chair were her new orange formal uniform robes and collar. A bag sat on the floor with the more informal, practical day robes of black and white and grey, along with the physical activity attire and fencing outfit. 

Now Borusa put the tray in front of her, lifting the glass of milk from it and putting it on the bedside table, and then sat at the end of the bed.

“I had a very pleasant day, my dear girl. Please, you must think of this as your room, and all vacations you are more than welcome to stay here.”

“Is that what the Children’s Department have decided, my Lord?”

“Just Borusa, please, my dear. To be honest, your problem is a little beyond the Children’s Department, and they are open to all suggestions. Would you be happy here? Unless, of course, Irving Braxiatel decided to resettle more permanently here, or we allow you off world to stay with him with his little planet of books during vacations.”

Sanji felt Borusa was a little sniffy and disapproving of her Uncle’s obsession with protecting Human and Other Sentients of the Five Galaxies books and other forms of learning and entertainment. However, as he was the very master of Detachment and Control, he was hard to read. Not that she would good with body language and facial expressions anyway, they had always seemed a closed book to her, even as her human self, Cassandra. She was better with reading auras and artron and emotions, even if thoughts were shielded. But he was also a supreme expert of Mind Shielding too. But there had been something in his flat delivery which made her think so. She shoved some baked beans and toast in her mouth, so she did not have to answer. She was surprised and happy to find it tasted just right, like he had bought a tin of Heinz beans himself from Earth. She started to eat hungrily.

“It is acceptable?”

She nodded, looking down.

“I am glad, my dear. I will leave you momentarily. Might I trust you to continue packing? You will be allowed only one soft toy for Junior Academy, so please bear that in mind, and one personal outfit, but as your other clothing are Terran, you might choose to leave them behind.”

Sanjiandrovanri dropped her cutlery and began to hyperventilate. Borusa picked up the tray and moved it to her chest of drawers hurriedly, then sat down beside her, not quite touching her, one hand hovering behind her shoulders, the other by her temple.

“Ah, I perceive what ails you, my dear child. Please, this is your room, your home, for as long as you need, just as the other children will be leaving houses and apartments and rooms of their families full of their belongings. All is secure and safe, all is well. Please, build a wall, you will not want your peers reading you so well as I am now.”

Sanji tried to calm herself, but her breathing grew worse, and she began also to cry, silently, not even aware of the tears and snot coursing down her face.

“My dear, my dear. Sanjiandrovanri, please, child. You must stop this very human display, please.”

She tried, she tried so hard, but her breathing was growing even more rapid and shallow, and the mucus caused by her crying felt like it was choking her, filling her nose and running down the back of her throat.

Awkwardly, Borusa began to make little circles as he gently rubbed her back. “Try to imagine a candle on the shelf, my dear, and try to blow it out.” He touched her temple and even helped her see a large purple candle sit on the shelf. She blew and blew as hard as she could, and after nearly passing out, found that her breathing had finally stabilised. Her tears also slowed and stopped as she felt the gentle pressure of his hand on her back.

“There, there,” Borusa said awkwardly. “All over. Emotions are such messy things, aren’t they my dear? You will learn better control, and I will learn better how to support you. I have had no children or younger siblings, nor niece nor nephew that I have been involved with. I come from a very old House indeed, you know. We will get to know each other better after the Other Term, on the Tri-monthly break, before the Term of Rassilon begins, and proper classes.”

Sanjiandrovanri wondered if he meant ‘Cousin’ Looms, but she had heard that was a myth, from the Old Times, an experimental genetic alley Rassilon had tried as a solution to the Curse of Pythia and backtracked and closed. Just a dark story, a myth like those of the stolen DNA from the pan dimensional child beings and/or the Great Vampire? Perhaps he had just meant, everyone was old in his family, no one had had children for generations and regenerations? She also picked up something far more important.

“What do you mean, we don’t really begin proper classes until the Term of Rassilon?”

“This first term for the younglings is just a settling in, a transition from Kindergarten and Family House to being at the Academy. You will find things very similar this first term to Kindergarten, we will treat you still very much like Time Tots. Many games, of course, are to prepare you for proper study, so do attend, make Hoolie and Aris proud.”

“Where is the Lady Hoolie? I heard Aris and Uncle say something, but I was confused?” and scared, she did not add.

“She has left Gallifrey. She went looking for you, but found other children in need of her.”

“Is she a renegade?” Sanjiandrovanri whispered, horrified, pulling her teddy bears and large white floppy dog to her chest tightly. Did she do something to people? Papa, then Father, then Ushas, and Uncle was half renegade, half tolerated, or something…?

“Not quite,” Borusa looked down at the child’s worried face, hugging her toys and chewing her lip. “Not in the least. She does not interfere, or not in the ways that would harm the timelines. She does what might be deemed charity. We expect them back once she regenerates, I believe that was the ruling of the High Council. What she learns on Earth may be useful as her role as a Kindergarten teacher and counsellor, they decided. Perhaps, when she returns, if you are still a child, the Children’s Coordinator can approach her about being your guardian? In the meantime, if you are happy, I humbly offer myself as that role.” He inclined his head gracefully, and looked at her earnestly, as if he respected her opinion.

“Yes, please,” she replied quietly.

He looked down at her toys. “I did not say this, but as your parents have no doubt shown you, there are ways and means of bending rules, and space in the bag for perhaps two toys. I must bathe and dress myself now. I shall expect you downstairs by the main door in one hour. Now drink your milk, child.”

“Yes.” She picked up her milk and sipped it, and as Borusa reached her door, called shyly, “Thank you Borusa, I shall try to do my best this term and not let you down.”

Borusa just nodded his ascent and acceptance, but as he closed the door, he allowed himself the luxury of a small, sad, smile, and wiped one tear away with a finger.

*

After her bath, of which she had far too many bubbles, and nearly drowned, as it was rather large, Sanjiandrovanri pulled on the heavy, ornate, fully length brocade orange robe with braided metallic overlay over her much longer Gallifreyan pants and vest and undergown and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She felt uncomfortable and awkward, she was so used to Terran cotton knickers and a little vest, along with simple knee length dresses. She sat down on the toilet and pulled on her long boots, struggling to coordinate her fingers to lace them. She brushed her short elfin hair, which was so fashionable back in the 1970s in England on Earth, but looked so wrong with this gown, with its tucked in side panels at the waist, and back, which would not be there on a boy’s robe. Should she put on a skull cap, people may think she was boy-identifying with the short hair? Father had a picture of Susan with short hair he kept in his bedroom, but she knew full well that when her older niece had run away with her Father she had had long, heavy, ornately styled, dark braids twisted with gold thread. Borusa had laid out a small head piece, made of twisted gold and silver, with loops of flowery circles of nonsense words. She placed it above her fringe. She had read many a children’s book as Cassandra where the heroine had been ill and had to have their hair cut, books set a 100 years back from when she had lived on Earth. Perhaps she could pretend to have been very ill? She was, she reckoned, about a year older than the others would be, with a year’s less Kindergarten, and having lived, in total, double the other Time Tots arriving. Her head span. Time Tots could not regenerate, and there were still hospitals on Gallifrey for accidents and bad regenerations and mental illnesses, and perhaps, for diseases picked up off world that the nanites could not protect one from? Of course, children were not meant to go off-world, but perhaps she could say that she had. No one told her mentioning Uncle was forbidden, and his work with alien books were often discussed in news services and entertainment discussions. Or had been over 200 years ago when she had left to be made human. As most Time Lords could discuss a point of interest for hours, and things moved and changed so slowly, the Library of Irving Braxiatel of the Sentient Species was probably still a novelty. Perhaps she got sick from an alien book? If anyone asked about her hair.

She lifted the heavy collar, the first time she had worn one, and placed it behind her head. She looked to herself, in the mirror, alien. Yet she had felt alien on Earth, even when she had been human and lost to herself. Could she not fit in anywhere?

 _So dull, so static, so pompous and unchanging. So boring and uncomfortable!_ she imagined her Father complaining.

Yes, perhaps Father. But I will be the best Time Lady I can be all the same. Unchanging seems like a lovely idea to me, even if the clothes are horrid!

However, she had not been above a little rebellion of her own. She had unpacked the heavy holdall in orange and black paisley and swirls, and shoved everyone but Tatty Bear in the bottom of her backpack, then her books and secret snacks and treats, created a false bottom from instructions she didn’t realise the bag had that she found in a secret pocket the night before, and then all the new uniform and clothing compulsory to the Academy, the placed Tatty and a picture of her Father that Borusa had found for her, with Papa and Ushas. They were a little older than her. Ushas had masses of flame red hair and looked as haughty as she did as an adult, Papa had a dark mop with a flopping fringe and angry black eyes, and Father had blond curls and a faraway, rather sad, look. It was not possible to put it on properly, with the collar and heavy robes, so she hugged it to her chest and left the room, looking around, wondering if she would see if at the end of term, or whether she would be sent somewhere else, to someone else, of left in an empty dorm like some girls had been in books she had read, again, as Cassandra.

  
*

  
“There you are my dear. Excellent.” Borusa then saw the bag, and imperceptibly frowned. “You did not use the bag I gave you?”

“I’m sorry, but this is my bag, I have had it a long time. Please. I have thought, and Uncle goes off world, he is permitted to, people talk of his Collection. I might mention him, might I say he gave it to me?”

Borusa smiled tightly. “Of course,” he sighed. “Come.”

He opened the door. The air was fresh, sharp, and windy. The dust from the Outback was blowing into the edge of the city. She missed the snows of Aris’ family farm. An aircar sat near the door to Borusa’s apartments, filling up a quarter of the small quad of the Senior Academy. A technician stood respectfully by the lifted hatchway in his green uniform of the Prydonian Technical and Service Staff.

“My Lord. My Lady,” she said, as they climbed into the back. 

Sanji smiled, “Thank you,” she said.

Borusa slowly shook his head.

She knew she should ignore them, they gave service, they were paid to do so, their families had done so since before the days of Rassilon, not all Gallifreyans could be Time Lords, it was only logical. But manners cost nothing, did they not? Why should she not thank them?

Unwittingly, she had transmitted all this.

 _They will get ideas above their station. One does not thank that which is paid. One might as well thank a service bot_ , Borusa thought at her.

Sanji smiled, she also would thank a bot! She had felt bad about ignoring the transmat technician the other day on Aris’s Family’s lands. But she remembered all Hoolie’s lessons on building balloon walls, so said, “Apologies, Lord Borusa. Am I permitted to say you are my Guardian to people?”

“It has not yet been decided by the High Council, so do not mention anything as yet.”

She was so glad she had not left a single one of her belongings behind in the room, she decided, as the aircar lifted and began its journey across the ancient city of Prydonia from the Senior to Junior Academy.


	4. Enrolment and the First Day

The journey took little time, they flew high above normal airlanes, too high above the city to see anything but the red and orange roofs and shining golden and silver spires, neat squares of red grasslands, presumable parks and gardens. The four towers of the Junior College loomed up, and in no time at all the aircar was touching down in one of the cloistered, neat lawned, quads. Other aircars and autokarts had been pulling up outside the huge castle like structure of the school as they had flown over the huge front gates between the East and North Towers. Sanjiandrovanri saw small children clinging to adults as they were disembarking, and her stomach lurched and fluttered. More were walking through the walled corridors and tunnels to enter the quad, adults carrying bags, children holding hands with their parents tightly.

The technician respectfully opened the hatch and stood to attention whilst Borusa alighted, and then took her bag and her hand and helped Sanjiandrovanri out.

“Thank you,” she whispered, mindful of Borusa’s attitude was presumably echoed by those around her. The man smiled, and then arranged his features back to one of neutral servitude as Borusa pulled out a pocket watch from his robes pockets and looked at her.

“I must go, the Senior College has need of me, my dear. We need to find someone to check you in as quickly as possible,” he glanced again at the driver, who nodded and walked in the increasing crowds of parents, nurses, and children, so who were studiously not looking curiously at the car and the Time Lord in his Academy High Chancellor gown and collar. The technician returned with a woman dressed in the same green livery and a clipboard as himself.

“My Lord, how may I be of service?” she asked.

“I have young Lady Sanjiandrovanri here, ready to enrol,” Borusa replied.

“Of what House and City?”

“Lungbarrow, The Capitol Citadel,” Borusa replied, briskly, quietly, surprising Sanji, who thought her Father and Uncle’s House had buried itself, taking her their cousins with it.

She heard the gasp of a nearby Time Lady before she recovered her control, but obviously not detachment, as she pulled her child away from Sanji and whispered to her husband something. So perhaps, Sanji reasoned, Lungbarrow was still vanished,

“Ah,” replied the clerk. She scrolled down the screen of her clipboard. “Yes, I have her my Lord, she is assigned to the East Tower, with houseparent Lynch.”

“Excellent.” Borusa squatted down to Sanji’s eye level. “A good tower, wonderful views of the city and the plains, on a clear day you can see all the way to the Citadel and the Southern mountains if you get a southern window. Your fathers Tower, I believe, if memory serves. No one else will remember, many have had selective memory ablations, many others hypnotised or have self-selected to bury those memories. For convenience. I am so sorry, my dear, that you cannot talk of them. It is a rather large ask for one as young as you. But as we discussed, you may talk of your Uncle, if you wish. Now, I must take my leave.” He stood up and held out his gloved hand. Sanjiandrovanri took it and formally shook it,

“Thank you my Lord Borusa,” she said, curtsying, “for taking me in.”

“It was nothing. Study hard. I no doubt will see you in the Long Vac; unless other arrangements are made.” With that, he turned, and left, climbing into the aircar, and soon it was climbing in the sky, with Sanji just staring after it. She stared into the empty sky a long while after it was out of eyesight. The murmur and hubbub of the parents and children and clerks going above her head.

Suddenly, her silent, empty, hearts were startled by the sounds of clapping hands and the buzz of talking abated, and as it did so, she realised that for quite a while it had been only the higher, excited, pitch, of many eight year olds and no adults. She also worried how long she had been staring at the sky. She felt she may have been lost in something of a trance, it was something she had not done before, although she remembered her human avatar Cassandra had done so many times after being made to be ‘special’ by her grandfather. Was she afraid, she asked herself, and then looked in the direction all the other children were looking?

A Time Lady in a similar gown to Borusa stood in the centre of the quad, waiting for the children to attend. Four more Time Lords stood about her, in less ornate gowns. There were three more Ladies, a Lord, and a person whom Sanji was not sure what was their loomed, regenerated, or chosen gender, who stood behind her.

“Time Tots, attend! This is the last term you will be as such. The term will be a gentle introduction to the Academy for you. You are all children of noble Prydonians who have been here before, and I am sure you are keen not to disappoint your Houses. You are most welcome,” she spread her gloved hands apart and smiled. “I am Lady Marta, the Principle of the Prydonian Junior College of the High Academy of the Time Lords. You will address me as Principle and will curtsy if I come to your Tower or class, or you encounter me out and about in the general environs. Once you are in the final year, you may forgo such formality, but that is a long journey ahead for you all. First, I shall introduce the Head of Reception, and she will run by some simple rules and regulations, then I introduce your Houseparents, and will read out your name and Tower. Once you know which Tower you will be in, you must go and stand beside your new Houseparent, and must give them the loyalty and obedience you would for your parents. For the next years, until you graduate to the Senior College, your Tower is your House.”

All the children stood, silent, in awe. Sanji realised she was not the only one to be afraid, more than one child was weeping silently, trying to hide it, failing to exercise the control that their Kindergarten would have taught. A child to her right was actually hyperventilating.

“This is Lady The Crane.”

A tall, thin, women with a long, equally thin, nose, in a very high collar and quite figure-hugging gown, stood forward. “Welcome children. Please attend,” she began, and started to list the rules, and Sanji struggled to listen and remember, but once she was told they would be in the handbook each child would be handed in their dormitory bedrooms, she began again to watch the sky. She must have drifted off, as she was suddenly aware of her name being called. She looked around, panicked, and saw the person of undetermined gender indicate themselves, already with several children around them. She quickly crossed the quad to stand with the others of the East Tower.

  
*

  
After two more children joined them, their houseparent clapped their hands and led them off in small crocodile, two by two. A dark skinned boy with his face screwed up with the effort not to cry, his utter despair in his homesickness leaking behind his wall of billowing curtains – interesting, Hoolie and Aris taught their Time Tots to build a mental shield with balloons – Sanjiandrovanri impulsively took his hand in hers and squeezed, entwining their fingers.

“I’m Sanjiandrovanri,” she whispered. “It all is a bit terrifying, isn’t it?”

“I’m Uti,” he whispered, “Lord Utiandromandra of the Green Roofs,” he whispered back.

“Hello,” she grinned. It was, after all, what Father would do to be nice, smile widely and say hello.

“No chatting at the back there!” called their houseparent.

The crossed the quad, went under an arch and crossed a second quad with courts for games and fencing, and then a third quad with a playpark, benches, and fishponds, then entered a long, white, corridor, decorated with the roundals of mundane spaces. Finally, they came to a large, curving, white staircase, with a huge holo-portrait of a stern looking Time Lord.

“Lord Prydonia,” whispered a girl in front of her.

As they climbed, a second holo-portrait seemed to grow out of the first, a man with white hair, who reminded Sanji of her Father when small, expect his face was angry and stern, and his body held stiffly.

“The Other, Imagined,” whispered the same girl.

“Show off, how do you know?” a boy scoffed from further down the crocodile.

The girl began to cry. Sanji patted her shoulder with her free hand. She had done with being the school mouse, always mocked and bullied, once, as Cassandra, and she was determined not to let that happen again. Cassandra had consoled herself that she did not fit in because she was an alien princess, and how right she had surprisingly been, well the alien part, but as Sarah in the Little Princess had said, all girls were princesses!

“My Mother is an art broker,” the girl in front sniffed.

“Mine is a secretary to the High Council,” Uti whispered back.

“So what,” scoffed the other boy, “I have two, and they both design TARDISes, which is so much more interesting, and exciting!”

Sanji suspected this was true, but he was irritating. “So what, I don’t have a mother, but my fathers are-”

“I said silence!” the houseparent roared, from the top of the stairs, counting in each child as they had climbed it, and directing them through huge doors at the top. As the last two got the landing, which was Uti and Sanji, Uti was ushered through the doorway, while the Time Lord grabbed Sanji by the shoulder and held her firmly. “I thought you understood the directive from the President and High Council, Lady Sanjiandrovanri,” they said, sternly.

“I’m sorry,” she said hotly, her cheeks burning, trying not to cry, “but he was horrid to that little girl!”

“Which is why we practice Detachment and Control, and leave any disagreement to the adult teacher, young lady. We most certainly do not intervene. I see I will have to keep my eye on you, which was as I suspected. We are not on Earth now.”

Sanji hugged her backpack, Gallifreyan on the inside, but Earth design, knowing it contained Terran toys, clothes, and books, and nodded, hanging her head. All the false confidence she had found from being Father, and his motto, you own the place, evaporating like tea poured on snow.

“Yes, my Lord. Sorry my Lord,” she whispered, trying even harder not to cry.

*

  
She followed the houseparent through the grand, ornate, carved faux wooden doors to see a huge circular room. A table was in the middle, surrounded by chairs and then, circling that, three long continuing, soft, orange and burgundy sofas. Behind that were desks with access terminals and paper on blotting pads. Huge diamond shaped leaded windows were above the desks, with black frames, every fifth pane a coloured pane, some showing pictures of young people holding books, or scrolls, or swords, or flaming torches. The rest of the younglings were gathered together under the large, unique, window, an arch of different coloured pieces of glass, all pushed together like a mosaic or collage. Their houseparent turned,

“Quickly, join the others, spit spot!” as they spoke a technician emerged from a door to the right of the grand doors. “Ah, good, you are here,” the houseparent said.

Once Sanji joined the others, they smiled and said, “Now we are all here, sit down children.”

“Not knowing quite what to do, the children all seemed to universally decide to sit on the floor between the sofas and the table chairs. Their houseparent turned a table chair and sat on it, facing the Time Tots. Sanji sat crossed legged, as did most of the others, all looking up.

“Hello. And welcome. I know this is all new, and quite different, for you all. I am sure you will settle in in no time at all. I am your Houseparent, Lynch. Now, if anyone has not met a non-binary person before, you will refer to me as they and them, not she/he or her/him. I am your houseparent, not housemother or housefather. You may call me my Lord, or Sir, rather than Lady or Madam, but that is only because in countless millennia no one has come up with an alternative. Still, many a Time Lady calls herself a Time Lord, as I am sure you have noticed. My identity is important to me, and so I will not be so kind on stumbles after the first week. Take this as an important lesson – a Prydonian meets a person where they are, and respects that.”

A child raised their hand.

“And you are?”

“Suki. Lady Sukinandometi from the House of Kalibus, my Lord.”

“You have a question,” this was a statement. “Here, when we ask for clarification or enlightenment, we stand and hold our hands behind our back, Suki.”

The child stumbled to her feet and put her hands behind her back, but from where Sanji sat, she could see the girl was twisting her fingers nervously.

“I mean no disrespect, but were you loomed or regenerated with both parts, like a hermaphrodite, or is just a question of your artron and aura and mental image of yourself, my Lord?”

“Please, do not be ashamed to ask scientific questions, Suki. It is the latter, and I have always been so, since I was a loomling. I have regenerated in both male and female bodies, but never do I feel attached to the gender I wear.”

Another child held up their hand.

“Yes, child, and you are?”

The boy leapt to his feet and held his hands behind his back, and rushed out. “I have a sibling of my mother who is gender fluid, they always change with regeneration, but often just with their mood. Sometimes I have an uncle, sometimes an aunt, I never know until they visit and I feel their aura, is it like that with you?”

“A good question, and no, not really, I do not alter, I do not perceive gender the way most do at all, but in your rush of scientific inquiry, you forgot your introduction.”

“I am Anromecus.”

“Ah yes, Anromecus, congratulations. You won the East Tower Scholarship, did you not?”

The boy flushed, and looked at the ground. “Yes my Lord, thank you,” he mumbled, as some of the children looked at each other or him.

One more child slowly raised their hand, a blonde girl with very ornate braids.

“A final question. Do not forget to introduce yourself.”

“I am Policanta of the House of Legolas. I am confused, as I was taught it impolite to discuss regeneration.”

“So it is, Policanta, but here at Prydonia, although we place decorum and custom in an important place, scientific curiosity is also a highly sought prize in a good Prydonain scholar. Never be afraid to ask why here, you will have millennia when you graduate to be correct and decorous, my dear. Now, rules and customs and maps. Firstly, this is our Tower med tech, Luce; she and her staff will attend to you. If you feel sick or worried, you go to her. If there is a more mundane problem, you go to the housekeepers’ office next door to the infirmary. Luce will hand you all maps now, the first is of the Tower, the record of the college and the areas accessible to Reception. She will also hand you the handbook, within it are the rules and customs of this house.”

Some children placed the books in front of them, some hugged them, Sanji immediately began to flick through them. They had their own playing field, play park, and swimming pool, library, atrium and cloister. She had been worrying about long dorms, but each shared with one other child in a long corridor of partitions, she could tell.

“Lady Sanjiandrovanri, there will be plenty of time to look. Now is the time to attend,” Lynch said quietly. Sanji slipped the book to the floor next to her backpack. No one else had bags, they had had trunks or boxes, unloaded by house servants and handed to college ones, from what she had seen before enrolment.

“Tomorrow will be orientation, and each of you will be expected to meet the Principle, and there will also be an assessment, not that we don’t trust your kindergarten grades, but it is also good to make up ones own mind without prejudice. There is no shame in what mark you achieve, it is just to see where you are at in the basics. There will also be the beginners feast. Today, however, is for getting settled in. In a moment, Luce will take you, two by two, to your rooms, and you can unpack your trunks, and get to know your roommate. Then we will have simple meal, and the evening will be for exploring the Tower, getting acquainted, and so forth. Then, you will bathe, and come back here for a small supper, and bed. My door is always open, as well as Luce’s, if any of you need a friendly ear.” They smiled widely. “There is no shame in admitting to homesickness and the missing of family. Luce, my dear, if you will.”

“Oh. Um. Yes, firstly, Lord Utiandromandra and Anromecus.”

Uti looked startled for a moment, and Sanji heard his impolite thought about the scholarship tech, and she hoped Anromecus didn’t. his first thought was squashed, however, by one of shame, and he smiled at the other boy. Anromcus too, she saw, had a bag, a large canvas holdall. It looked heavy, as if the dimensional engineering was faulty or poorly grown. She smiled at them both as they passed, and they looked at her if they feared she were unstable, although Uti managed a small, nervous, smile back, but Anromecus scowled. She looked down, and traced patterns in the carpet, until she heard her name.

  
*

Technician Luce led them to their small room – a bed each, a table between them, and either side of their beds, a desk, a chest, and a wardrobe. A holoboard was above each desk,

“You may select images which please you, and timetables and announcements will be displayed every morning and evening, so do not forget to attend and look,” Luce said, as she finished the tour of the tiny room. She opened a door next to the left-hand wardrobe, “Bathroom. Housekeeping will send in bots daily, but that is not an excuse to be slovenly or lazy. Pick up your towels, etc, and clean up spills and so forth.”

Sanji looked a long while and the large, circular bath, happy, as she loved deep bubble baths. The other child looked worried.

“My parents were assured I would get a private bathroom,” they said, chewing their lip.

“I’m afraid we cannot do that, as this is the only space left for the Lady Sanjiandrovanri, she was late enrolled.”

The child glared at Sanji, but with fear, not hatred or anger. “I won’t come in if you are about your toilette, I promise, or look if you are dressing. I’m worried about sharing a space too,” she tried a Father type beam to reassure him, but worried she looked demented.

“Keli is special Sanjiandrovanri, so you must respect her privacy.”

“Of course,” she nodded, looking curiously at the child who she had taken for a boy, and thought were perhaps nonbinary like Houseparent Lynch.

“I’m transgender, okay?” Keli blurted out.

“Oh?” Sanji replied, nonplussed.

“Would you like Houseparent Lynch to come to explain to you, dear?” Luce asked.

“Oh?” Sanji frowned, why couldn’t Luce? Oh, the them and us of Time Lords and other Gallifreyans was going to annoy her, she had Cassandra’s parents, socialists, views still in her head. Lynch already thought she was stupid and inattentive and disobedient, so much so she wondered if they had dealt with either of her fathers. “Can’t Keli explain, it’s… their? Identity. If you don’t mind,” she added hurriedly, looking at her roommate, standing stock still and trying and failing not to hyperventilate.

“Is that alright, Keli dear?”

“Yes, Technician Luce,” Keli replied breathlessly.

“I shall leave you to get settled and get the next two Tots then. Your box is on your bed, Keli, as you can see. You did not have one, did you Sanjiandrovanri?”

“Sanji,” Sanji decided, and there it was, her new Junior college name. It was certainly shorter.

“Of course. The meal will be within the next two hour. Watch for the announcement on the screen. There will be also a voice announcement if you decide to explore.

“Thank you, Luce,” Sanji said, trying another Doctor-beam.

The Technician looked startled, and checked the impulse to smile.

“That will be all then,” Keli said, dismissively, looking oddly at Sanji, before going to their box and opening it.

Sanji lifted her backpack and dumped it on her bed, the one on the right side of the room. The only natural light came from a large round window above the table between their beds.

“Do you not have a box?”

“No.”

“The bag has an unusual design. What are the straps for? I deduce that the bag is to be worn on ones back or front.”

“The back, it is called a backpack or rucksack, or even haversack. It is an Earth design.”

“Earth? Tellurian? Have you been off world?”

Sanji looked down, was she supposed to tell. “Yes, but it is a secret. Is your transgender thing a secret?” she added, taking the opportunity to find out which way Keli was transitioning, as she was not certain, some children looked so neutral. It was of course different with adults. Back on Earth when she had been, human transgendered people, called transsexuals, were the butt of jokes, or objects of pity, but so were people with a preference to fall in love with their own gender, or people with darker skins, or women… or anyone not white and male, really. It used to make Cassandra’s parents angry, they were anti-racist and her Mum called herself a feminist. Lots of TV had been banned from her – from Cassandra’s – brother and her, and other times they explained history and why it was not funny. She still was sometimes so muddled as to who she was. Father had been so angry at his brother, children should never go through a chameleon arch, he had said. She supposed she could talk about Uncle Brax though. She smiled to make her question seem kind and not rude.

“Yes,” Keli answered decidedly. “There was an accident in the Loom, my brainwaves, artron and aura are female, my body male. No doubt you have heard this happening with a regeneration?”

Sanji frowned, thinking back, it had been such a long while since she had been on her own planet. “Don’t people usually waste an entire regeneration to correct it?”

“Sometimes. It depends on the level of body dysmorphia.”

Sanji worked out the word roots. “Hating your body?”

“More feeling wrong inside, like you put the wrong clothes on but a million times worse. I can’t regenerate until my body and brain are fully mature.”

Sanji thought about this too, thought about all the changes that happened between childhood and adulthood, it was called puberty, and supposed to be horrible. “But won’t your body… um, won’t it change?” she whispered.

“My medical tech will give me hormones to block puberty as soon as it begins – my body will mature in other ways, but not that. Will you keep my secret?”

Sanji nodded. “You are a girl, I thought you were a boy because your psychic walls are very strong for a loomling. If you let it down, everyone will feel your girlness and ignore your broad shoulders and narrow face. I’m sorry, I was rude!”

“It’s okay, it is good advice. I am used to adults’ pity when they sense my being trans, and some of the children at the Kindergarten were mean and even bullied me. Looms rarely make mistakes. I thought you might be nonbinary like our Houseparent, as you have such short hair.”

Keli’s hair was long, ginger, and styled with many braids flat against her head, with orange ribbons at the end of each one, to match her uniform.

“Oh no. At least, I don’t think so.” Cassandra had wanted to be a boy, her human avatar, but that felt more like she was cross at the sexism of her planet, and maybe sadness and hurt from being made to be special by her grandfather. As soon as she had her body back, Sanjiandrovanri had wanted pretty dresses, but did wanting pretty dresses necessarily make you a girl? This was a house Tower with lots of complicated questions about gender she had not expected until puberty. “This is a popular hair cut on Earth during the time period I was there.”

“Children are not allowed off world, especially Time Tots. How is it you were off world?”

Sanji shrugged. “The President has redacted everything. I will commit high treason if I tell people! But that is probably treason, telling you. Please keep my secret!”

Keli stood with her mouth wide open in shock. She pulled herself together, and said, “Wow. Okay. That is a much bigger secret than mine!”

Sanji nodded earnestly. “It will be awfully hard. Have you heard of Lord Irving Braxiatel?”

“The bookman? I saw a documentary on Public Record 7. Is he your Father?”

“Uncle.”

“And that was why you were off world? To get books from Earth?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Sanji replied, wincing internally, as that was a phrase Father used which annoyed Papa so much. _Never forget rule one, your Father lies,_ Papa said to her, when he came for his belongings, after Father threw him out for hitting her. Her sisters had been there, and Ushas, all to make sure Papa did not hit her again. She had forgot that. Memory was funny. She watched Keli awkwardly take out pieces of clothing and look and them, before putting them back. “Would you like me to unpack for you?”

“Would you, I’ve never done this, my nurse and the housebots did everything, I’m not quite sure what to do!”

“Of course,” Sanji said. “I’ve been unpacking and repacking and so on since I was a tiny Time Tot. I’m not allowed to quite tell you why, but I moved about from adult guardian to adult guardian. No one thought to engage a nurse, apart from Ushas, but she really believed in self-reliance, so I still had to tidy my own rooms.”

“Who is Ushas?”

“A biochemist. She’s a renegade now. She was friends of my fathers. After her I went to my Uncle.”

“Irving Braxiatel? The bookman?”

“Yes.”

“I saw you arrive, with the actual Chancellor of Prydonia, my Mother said.”

“Oh, yes, that’s a secret too. He maybe my next guardian, or I might go to my Uncle. Or I may even stay here.” She looked around the room. “I’ll respect your side if that happens.”

Keli stared, horrified. “No family, no house, off world belongings, you are like an alien! Are you an alien?”

Sanji shook her head. _Although I have a human grandmother, apparently_ , she thought behind her newly built strong wall of balloons. She hoped proper psychic walls would be taught soon, not kindergarten ones.

Keli had many pretty gowns on top of her uniform clothing, and several temporal mathematics games and books, and a rag doll with ginger plaits and dark skin, dressed in a tiny Prydonian uniform. She also had many beautiful gowns.

“That’s Carli, I’ve had her since I was very small. I have many other dolls, but they said only one toy.”

“They said only one item of clothing, too,” Sanji said, as dry as her Papa, as she put each beautiful gown carefully on a hanger. She soon ran out, but took them from her wardrobe. She would only hang her compulsory clothing; her human clothing could stay in the bag.

Keli giggled. “I know,” she said, hiding her smile behind her hand.

“Well, I won’t tell if you don’t tell on my extra toys. I couldn’t bear to leave them! They’ve been with me as I moved around. I was going to keep them in the bag, but…”

“I won’t snitch, promise. Oh, you are clever, how are you folding that underwear?”

“It’s easy, shall I show you?”

Keli watched Sanji’s hands fold the next long sleeved undertop, but scowled with confusion. “I don’t think I will ever get that! I can do all kinds of equations in my head, but my hands and feet never go where I want them! Thank you,” she added, as Sanji folded the last pair of knickers and stood on the bed, and lifted the empty box and put it on the top of the wardrobe.

“I think it is meant to go there,” she decided, wobbling, dropping the box and falling on her bottom on the bed, making it and Keli bounce.

“I think the servitors will come and collect the boxes.”

“Oh? Oh well…”

“Will you unpack now?”

“Later, let’s have a look around. I’d hate to get lost tomorrow.” 

“That sounds fine, and we can see who else is in our Tower. I can’t believe we have a Technical caste scholarship!”

“Why?”

“There is only one every one hundred years, my grandmother told me. She was one, centuries ago. Oh, please keep that a secret.”

  
“Oh? Shall we go?” Sanji rummaged through the enrolment pack and found the maps.

Keli nodded and stood up, taking Sanji’s hand. They looked at each other and took a deep breath, then pushed open their bedroom door to the long dorm corridor, where all the twin room were off. Of any other children, there was no sign.

  
*

  
They followed the map, found their classrooms and exercise spaces, as well as places for assembly and meetings, before setting into the parks.

“Is this just for us in the East Tower, or all the Towers?” Keli wondered nervously, biting her lip and pulling at one of her plaits.

“I think it is just for us. I can feel the dimensional transdencence, we are still in the east Tower.”

“How do you notice, you noticed it before?”

“I think it must be because I was off world. I only returned three days ago.”

“Oh? Oh weird. I mean, for you,” Keli amended hurriedly.

“I am weird,” Sanji decided, “always have been. It’s my fathers. But oh, I’m not allowed to talk of them. Ever!”

“Are they redacted?”

Sanji nodded and looked down at the grass. Keli slipped her hand in hers and squeezed. “It’s okay, I will keep your secrets. It is hard to have such big ones. I want to ask questions but am worried about committing Treason. Come, look, there are fish!” Keli pulled Sanji to one of the ponds, and they watched golden fish dart about for a while, until Sanji could look up without crying.

“Look, swings!” she cried, as soon as she felt able to be happy, or pretend to be, and ran across the grass, pulling Keli. “I love swings!” Or Cassandra did, and the human part of her was still her, wasn’t it? She jumped on one and began immediately to work her legs and get higher and higher, until the chains wobbled against the crossbar, as if she might flip over it.

“Sanji!” Keli squealed. “You’re so high! How do you do that? My nurse and parents would push me!”

Sanji stopped working her legs and let the swing’s momentum slow, but she jumped off while still quite high, for kicks. Keli screamed.

Someone laughed, but not unkindly. They turned and say Uti and Anromecus emerge from the Wendy House climbing frame slide arrangement.

“That was cool,” said Uti.

“Foolhardy,” said Anromecus. “Do you have no sense of danger?”

“I can push you – Keli, is it?” Uti offered.

“I want to learn, like Sanji,” Keli replied, although she bit her lip nervously, she was so clumsy. Dyspraxic, her med tech called it.

“Me too,” Anromecus said. “Tech parks are not so well equipped,” he explained, not wanting to look pampered like the Prydonian born children, with their nurses and housebots to push them.

Uti and Keli looked at their feet, as if he had breached propriety. They fell awkward at his mention of not having their background, which was privileged, but they had not thought it so until now.

“Well that stinks, totally unfair!” said Sanji angrily, not in the least embarrassed or awkward. “Doesn’t surprise me though, let’s all sit on a swing, okay. It’s merely the application of push and pull upon gravity.”

They sat beside each other, each on a swing, watching and imitating Sanji’s legs, trying to get it right, all laughing, and lost all sense of time, until the bell called them to the meal.

“Are we friends, do you think?” Anromecus asked nervously.

“Of course,” said Keli shyly, patting his arm.

“I hope so,” said Uti, and they all looked at Sanji, who scowled worriedly.

“As long as you don’t hate me when you know I’m weird.”

“Well, I don’t fit, so why would I hate you?” Anromecus said.

“And you were kind when I was scared!” said Uti.

“And we are roommates,” Keli said, looking meaningfully at Sanji, saying you know my secret too. She held out her hand. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a nonbinary adult and a trans girl child. I have asked my daughter's friends, nonbinary and trans young men, to take a look, and of course, these are alien nonbinary and trans beings who regeneration and can change gender through out their millennia of their lives anyway, so things will be different. I mean no disrespect and I hope I do not offend any trans or nonbinary person. I myself am gender fluid, and have nonbinary periods of my life, as well as feeling male and disconnected from my body, and have had much body dysmorphia throughout my long life. I am 53 and thought I was broken most of my life, not gender fluid and ace, as such identities and labels did not exist, or where not known in a pre-internet world, so know little of actual modern Gen Z culture etc. If something is really offensive or wrong, let me know - although every person is a unique person regardless of gender identity :)  
> I feel like in future chapters Keli's dyspraxia and Houseparent Lynch's general arrogance and high expectations of their East Tower loomlings will be more of an issue, not how they identify on a gender scale :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is based very very loosely on my first attempts at fan fiction as a small child back in the 1970s. I even made the exercise books look like Target covers at the time. Sad little girl I was. Then, back in the 1990s at the OU DWAS some male fans sort of stole her, made her adult, made her a renegade and an exile herself, gave her fics in zines...
> 
> This is me, reclaiming her for myself. Comments appreciated, but no flames.


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